Reasons and Reasoning

My sister-in-law died this year - March 23rd 2009 - the day after mother's day. She was my friend and I loved her. She turned 40 in September last year and had been in remission from cancer for over eight years. One night in January she had what appeared to be a stroke but turned out to be a brain tumor. She lived long enough to put her affairs in order, organise her funeral, choose her burial plot and, most importantly, let her two girls (14 & 8) know how much she loved them. I miss her!!

Meanwhile, I was away with my husband this weekend, enjoying the peace and tranquility of the countryside but when we returned home we were shocked to hear our friend (who will be 49 on Thursday), was in hospital, following a heart attack. Thankfully the prognosis is good and he should, pretty much, make a full recovery.

Sadly, these are not new experiences to me but I am still amazed at how much they send me reeling and hurt so much.

I'm suddenly more aware of my own mortality than ever and, although I've often scribbled my thoughts and feelings down on scraps of paper over the years, I feel I need to review my life and put it into perspective.

It's very egotistical, I know, but I want to make and leave a footprint! I want people to know I have lived, this is me - 'I woz ere'!! I'm proud of my life and my achievements and at times I have laughed in the face of adversity, fallen and picked myself up again, and I am mostly very happy - with a 'wicked' sense of humour.